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CarinaMarie.
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chuabaka:

textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

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waywardchappy:

I always read FAQ as fack and I don’t plan on changing this

concentration-lamp:

"Sir do you realize you were going 110 miles per hour in a school zone?"

"Pretty impressive, huh?"

ronaldreagay:

shit i forgot to study for my pregnancy test

greetings:

when u tell a joke and no one else laughs but u

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benigoat:

Trying to sleep in summer with the covers on

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queen-of-love-and-beauty:

"I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have to waste like an hour in front of the mirror every morning hahahaha"

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"open books not legs"

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"why have tequila shots when you can have tea?"

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"As always, late with Starbucks"

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"modest is hottest"

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"I’m not like those girls”

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teamrocketing:

*takes a break from doing nothing* ah i really deserved this

artemisfowlstolemysoul:

Being a nice person is so fun

Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it

Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets

There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.